i hear. Fresh prince of bell aire.

i quote. "."

Ah, such change from last update =/. Things are kinda shitty for Ben and I right now. For starters, I almost thought he was kinda ignoring me or something.. having this mind that i have BAH. Why do I do that to myself?! It wasn't like that at all. And again, I messed shit up. He left his computer and I didn't know it. So I thought he was ignoring me. I couldn't help it cause it said he was typing. I don't know, but I do know he's pissed at me. Fucking ehh, that's the last thing I want right now. But it'll be okay, right? I want to be patient with this.. I like him a lot =(.

And then there's fucking Scott. Can he BE a more annoying person? Honestly, he called Emily the other day cause Natalie and I won't talk to him. And then he decided to talk to me over AIM. He kept fucking apologizing. Hmm SORRY but I don't like people that ignore me for a couple days for no reason and then expect everything to be fine. Sorry, shit doesn't rise and shit as you please. It takes fucking TIME. He doesn't understand this. I mean shit, he liked me and he ecpected RIGHT way that we be a couple? Hm how about no.. you don't even KNOW me. I hate people like that. You need to fucking wait it out. And now, he keeps asking if i'll be his friend. Just freaking WAIT. I have other shit to deal with, not just your drama shit. He's so fucking gaaaaaaaay. Enough of him though.

Part of last night, I got in this really shitty mood. I was fine with the whole Ben thing for a while, but I don't know I guess something hit me. And then there was Daron saying some stupid shit. BAH and right then, I started to cry. Shit, I haven't cried in forever! I really don't remember the last time I cried. But Emily and Natalie were right there when it happened. Before I even started crying, Emily says "Amy, are you gonna cry?" Maybe that's what set it off. I don't know, it really hurt that he wouldn't talk to me. I don't knowwww. Maybe I just needed to get that out, cause afterwards I was okay. I had my girlies. Thank god for that, or I don't know what I would have felt like after that. God Em and Nat are so wonderful.. seem to always be here for me and I love having friends like that. I couldn't ask for better ones =x. Especially after our whole animal noise-making last night hahaha. Em's the crow and I'm the elephant. Natalie can't make any noises. BULLSHIT. haha and this morning, I did this bark noise. She liked it I guess? hahah I really don't know WHY in god's name i'm writing that shit in here but ohhhh well. Yeah we stayed up til 4 am just talking and shit. And Em and I woke up at 7:30. wowwww 3-4 hours of sleep is just GREAAAT. I'm surprised I'm not passing out of tiredness. I had a busy-ass morning too. Physics lecture to breakfast to getting my laptop to physics lab to macro to my room to finish the lab to turning it in and to grabbing some lunch. Ah I'm glad that shit's over with. And now it's time to naaaaap.

-Amy-

Then || Now